Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WTF. Show all posts

Eat Drink Style Idiots Found at 99 Ranch Market in Monterey Park, CA.

Red Cod = Idiots

Saw this a few weeks back. Idiots are now on sale, for only $4.99/lb. Looks like 99 Ranch market is trying to get rid of these idiots, so you better hurry.

Eat Drink Style Canned Horror - Whole Chicken & Cheeseburger In A Can!

The Canning industry. A remarkable advancement in food preservation technology developed back in the 1800s. Its help feed impoverished families and starving soldiers.

But where do you draw the line?

Read more about this atrocity here – the photos are. First a chicken is de-feathered, gutted, beheaded and then dunked into a can and placed on the shelves of Vons for god knows how long. Being a chicken is tough.


And yes, you CAN HAZ A CHEEZEBURGER. If you really want.

Eat Drink Style The Gift of Gluttony


Before you start salivating over the chicken drumsticks and braised pork belly, know that this is unfortunately, inedible. Give the gift that says "You're a computer dork and you're a pig" at the same time. I'd pick the pork belly one because of the current Swine Flu. Until it's safe to eat pork again, I'll enjoy the taste of plastic. You can find these strange products here.




Eat Drink Style The Official Soundtrack of Valentine's Day

C&S Full

One more day until Valentine's Day and for a lot of people, this silly day means a lot. But with the recession, many people are choosing to stay in and fiddle with the stove and devirginize those Calphalon pots and pans. Tonight is a big night, and things may go well for you and your date. You've ironed your whole Old Navy outfit. You've trimmed your nose hair finally. Chicken is cooked perfectly in the oven. Wine is being uncorked. Ikea candles are lit. You've got way too much cologne but that's okay. But something is awfully dry and weird, and it's not the chicken breast.

Where is the ambiance?! Where is the sound of love?

This is where I enter with wings, bow/arrow and adult diapers. To really improve the chances of you sealing the deal tonight, I've compiled this erotically disturbing collection of songs/hymns/moanings/wailings that have somehow been interpreted as 'music'. This is all yours for the price of $free.99. Look at what you get!

B

Wow that's awful! If you can listen to this whole thing without hurting yourself or anyone, then you are the ultimate Cassanova. Good luck and enjoy!

Free Download ---> Cheesy & Sleazy Volume 1 (Zshare)
Free Download ---> Cheesy & Sleazy Volume 1 (Badongo)

Eat Drink Style Introducing "This Is Why You're Fat" Photo Blog

A great site has surfaced "This Is Why You're Fat." Has anyone eaten anything as atrocious as this? Enjoy, fat people. Also, take a look at this if you haven't already. America's most unhealthy food comes out of the AUS-some kitchens of Outback Steakhouse. This is 2009 and lowering your cholesterol is so 90s.

Eat Drink Style HObama and The Campaign for Free Food

The satirical publication, The Onion, was quite accurate in describing Obama's victory as President of the United States...

"Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job."

Without a doubt. Obama gets to tackle the recession due to the national debt, Iraq, Israeli's & Palestinians, the environment, Guantanamo Bay, Mexico's drug war and health care, just to name a few. Quite a load for anyone to take. But Obama has been vocal about change and hope throughout his campaign for the Democratic seat and we believe that it will happen. This is a hard time for him and us as the American people. With the recession going on, we have to cut back on everything. We can't go out as much, we have to conserve resources and sadly, we have to cut back on the amount we eat outside. Harsh. Especially for those who love to eat. That means you, otherwise you wouldn't be on this site. But you know what,

(Read the following paragraph with MLK's intense, prolific oration style.)

... I, HObama (my last name is Ho), of ED&BM, will march side by side with Obama as proud Americans in our own campaign. A campaign that will still provide us with sustenance. A campaign that will allow us to enjoy the thing we like to do most, which is to eat, and not dent the bank account while doing it. Obama has an economic plan, and I, have a gastronomic plan.

This is a campaign for... FREE FOOD!

(Applause and tears of joy!)

Yes, my fellow Americans and foreign people that stumble upon my site by accident and immediately hit the BACK button, I've provided a list of the best ways for you to get free food during this recession without lowering your social status. It will not be easy, but you will be rewarded. Shall we enjoy the beauty of $free.99?

1. Costco Frozen Food
Costco, the freak of nature store that directly reflects the way Americans over-consume. Things here are sold in obnoxious proportions and a lot of times people are stuck deciding if it will benefit them or cause more problems. Does everyone really need the 25 gallon "Family Pak" of extra virgin olive oil? Not unless you're Rachael Ray. If you can endure the parking lot drama, SUV-sized shopping carts, saying 'excuse me' about 100 x's, then get ready to part the bushes and discover the frozen-food goldmine. On weekends, and sometimes weekdays when business is slow, you'll see the Microwave Maidens luring customers with wafts of freshly baked food and sounds of microwave timers going off. *Beep* Beep* Low and behold, le coleccion de calorie. Have a 1/2 portion of a pepperoni bagel bite, enjoy a soggy Tyson chicken tender, try the spinach quiche or if you're lucky enough, TGIF Jose Cuervo Tequila/Lime wings. Gross, but all for free! After you are done, pretend to go looking for something down the aisle and make a quick turn around the fridges back to the Microwave Maiden of your choice and say something like:

"That last piece I got was still frozen in the middle."
"May I have one for my (insert relative) to try?"
"I just want to try one more and make sure I really do like it. And then I'll buy it. I'm a man of my word."

But beware, those ladies will remember you and give you an evil eye. So don't be too greedy. I've actually seen this man get called out for free-loading. "Sir, the packages are RIGHT BEHIND me in the freezer for the low cost of $13.73." I love how Costco prices their items before tax. And the best part of Costco, there's more than one Microwave Maiden at work. I knew these guys once in college that would go once a month at around 11 am and find their lunch. By 12 pm, they've eaten a bit of everything and are fully content. How did I know about these poor bastards? I was one of them.

2. Wine Shops with Olive Oil Tastings
This one is a kill-two-stones-with-one-bird situation. You go in and pretend you are looking for a bottle for tonight's date, which is a complete lie – because if you're following the HOBama Plan you're way too poor to go on a date. Slowly edge over to the olive oil section. More than likely, there will be cubed french bread ready at your disposal. Take a piece of bread and dip it into your olive oil of choice. Something to note, the greener it is, the less pressed it is – and expect some major grassiness and bitterness. If an employee is nearby, nod your head and moan your approval for it and even ask a nonsense question like, "At what temperature are olives best pressed in the regions of Italy?" And then kindly ask if there is any wine for you to taste, to wash down all that edible lotion. Unfortunately, these finely pressed olive oils aren't cheap. You're looking upwards of $20 for an average bottle. I figure if you eat about 50 pieces of cubed bread, you've pretty much eaten a 6" sandwich with olive oil as your filling. But this part of the HObama plan can make you quite ill, and you may want to find the nearest trash can. Moderation, my people!

3. Tortilla Chips in Mexican Restaurants
There's this 'mexican' restaurant in WeHo that I forget the name of. People, please help HObama. Here, the waiters bark out their orders in some sort of harmony and serve up strong margaritas. But the goldmine lies right in the middle of the restaurant – a giant bucket of tortilla chips. If you can somehow blend in with a bunch of drunks during their company happy hour, you will be rewarded. Eat as many as you can, until your jaw falls off or until you go home with the wasted just-fresh-out-of-college receptionist.

4. Office Meetings
Sometimes you're just not important enough to be in that bigwig meeting in your company. The kind with people so high up in the company their heads are in the clouds. The kind that has a whole cart full of refreshments and smorgasbord of caloric delight. Bagels with 4 types of cream cheese, seedless fruit, well-endowed sandwiches, non-olive garden pasta and expensive desserts. This is all very painful to deal with especially when you're slurping your $.99 Kimchi Ramen Bowl that is so loaded with MSG, causing your throat to close up. *Gasp* But am i not The HObama, the one who will help you through this recession. Yes we can. Grab your Blackberry, a pen, yellow notepad and tuck your shirt into them khakis. If you don't have a blackberry, go find one of those bubblegum cellphone cases at the market. Find the meeting with the best food and walk in. If you're already late, walk in with head focused on the Blackberry. Careful not to make eye contact because you can blow your cover. Tell them you're sorry you're late and pretend you're surprised by the food on the table. "Ooh. My favorite." Grab a big plate and find the seat in the back of the room. Then, go to the ringtone menu in your phone about 15 mins into the meeting, and make that shit ring LOUD as though you got a call. You pick it up right away and excuse yourself from the meeting and give yourself a high-5 because you just scored some goodies. Works every time.

5. Trader Joe's
Head straight for the back and look for the happy, Hawaiian-shirted employee behind the sneeze guard. Why yes, I would like to try some of that Fat-free Green Tea Hibiscus Peach Tea you're serving. Along with the macrobiotic sun dried tomato garlic hummus with free-range rosemary-raisin pita bread. You can always count on TJ's to offer the world's strangest pairings. I give them a FAIL for the pairings but I give them a thumbs up for helping me live another day w/ their organic, macrobiotic, free-range, fat-free products.

6. Marathons
Find those old, 1986 velcro Pro Wings and get ready to work for your free food. This will take some work but you'll feel good about it. You'll need a ID number so grab an 8.5 x 11 paper and sharpie and make up some arbitrary number like '916' which spells 'pig' in the Motorola Pager code. Because that's what you are – a pig. Ok, race is beginning. Line up in the back unless you want to get run over by the Kenyans. Because you're not here to top them, you are a man on your own mission. On your mark, get set, GOOOOOOOOOOOO to the nearest lady handing out any of those trail snack/energy bar booths. Not only will those energy bars fill you up, you'll have the hardest time chewing it b/c it's made of rubber and bark. You'll be running down the streets looking like a chipmunk, but it's sooooo good for you. You'll need some Gatorade which will be everywhere. Don't worry about coming in last or being spanked by the dog with 2 front legs and wheelbarrow as hind legs (saw this in China, for real). You're a winner today regardless because you got free energy snacks. If the next marathon is for the opposite sex only, plan accordingly with props and duct tape.

7. Farmer's Markets
This is easy. It's like Souplantation, but like, delicious. I love the Hollywood farmer's market the most – probably the largest I've seen. There's the oyster man, pistachio man, heirloom tomato lady – anything you want. just ask the magic question... "how do these taste?" Grab a sample of everything you'd like to try, but don't eat it, just thank the nice vendors and toss it in your bag. Then head over to the sidewalk and compile your super salad. You are frugal and smart because you brought your own bowl w/ some olive oil and vinegar in your backpack. Voila, a free salad.

8. Halloween
Why hello there? What are YOU dressed up as for Halloween? Hungry. Don't even bother putting on an outfit. It's obvious why you're there because you are two decades too late for this fat-enhancing custom. People most likely will give you whatever you want and immediately shut the door because in their book, you are insane. You're a 45-year old kid that still lives with his mom that does your laundry and microwaves your Dinty Moore for you, while you find your soul mate in Warcraft chat rooms. (JK, John. not) You'll get the super sized candies – good stuff like 100 Grand, Caramello and Whoppers. Refuse those yellow butterscotch candies no one ever eats. Why does Brach's even make those any more? And like the marathon, you don't need to dress up, because you're clearly a winner – two pails filled to the brim with candy, and none for mom.

9. Business Card Fishbowls
2 out of 10 restaurants you eat at will probably have one of these next to those $.25 candy dispensers. It screams, "Drop your business card for a chance to win a free lunch!" Hey doesn't hurt. THEN, the miracle happens. You're at work sending out YouTube links and all of a sudden, the phone rings. "Congratulations, (insert your name). We've selected you for the free lunch sweepstakes. How does it feel? When would you like to come in for your free lunch?" Well as the saying goes, "there's no such thing as a free lunch." Rightfully so, because when you show up to eat, you're not eating alone. You're eating w/ some slimeball-sales-person with claws and hooves, dressed in shirt & clip-on tie. Think of him as a used-car salesman on his lunch break. He may sell you financial services, timeshare in a place like San Bernardino or something life-changing like mailbox insurance. But if you have adapted the art of pretending like you're listening and timing your head nods perfectly, you can phase out Sam the Slimeball and actually enjoy your lunch. And maybe even pawn off some of that $.25 candy, you slimeball.

10. Asian Markets like 99 Ranch
Like Costco but with really bad driving/parking, they have weekend giveaways too. You will usually find the freebies in the very back by the meat department since the aisles are the widest there. I actually look forward to their goods because some of it is quite delicious. You'll most likely see some sort of noodle served in tiny styrofoam cups with a light soy sauce broth. They give you these tiny tiny forks to use but I would actually like to see some miniature chopsticks – could be fun and messy! Then you move on to the dumpling lady serving boiled goodness . How about the lady serving up halved fish or meatballs? They give you a toothpick to take ONE, but I like to make my own Asian shishkabob by stabbing through 5-6 of those – tasty. Now it's time for dessert, make your way to the fruit wafers that come in those tin containers – childhood treat. Wash it all down with 5-6 types of high-fructose corn syrup yogurt drinks... mmm tasty. I like the peach one. Now repeat 4-5 times. Don't forget your facial sun visor/welding mask as it adds to the experience and hides the shame.

11. The Gold Room of Echo Park
Have you ever time traveled? I have. Sometimes unknowingly after having a little too much to drink. But if you want to time travel to Mexico come here. On the outside, it looks like a bar you would pass by normally, but once you walk in, bam, you are in Mexico. Awesome. The beauty of The Gold Room is the symbiosis between ultra-cool skinny-boy hipsters and the rancheros. They switch between latino and non-latino music, which is cool. Sorry, Creed and Akon not allowed. If you don't feel like dancing, take a seat up at the bar and do what you do best. But then something strange happens. One of the many large-bosomed bartenders will approach you slowly. You can't tell what she is holding in her hand b/c of the blacklights that are on. But it appears to be.... tacos. It's like she came over to pat you on the back for the excellent drinking you've been doing. How many times have you been rewarded for drinking? Wow, free beef tacos and peanuts. I have not had these myself, but my friends have. While they are nothing to write home about, a little power snack with your $1 tequila makes the belly and wallet happy.

12. The Coastline
On the show Lost, I am actually surprised everyone is alive on that show and how they are always looking good. Because you know what, I really don't know what they can survive on besides coconuts, insects and the occasional mammal on the loose. Most people would perish, except for the Asians who will just about eat anything. I remember seeing one episode in the early seasons, where the Korean guy, Jin, is off by the rocks finding lunch. I started laughing because I knew he had his ban chan ready to go with the sea urchin, mussels and oysters he was foraging. While Jack and Sawyer are busy restructuring each other's facial structures over Kate, he's over by the rocks rolling his eyes back and moaning with gastronomic satisfaction. Getting stuck on an island is anything but a nightmare considering it is a seafood buffet. And it's not called Todai. For this part of the HObama plan, one must work for to find the fruits of the sea. Go to your local beach or pier and bring a spear, pliers and shuckers. To make it even more interesting, wear a loin cloth to get that prehistoric, caveman feel. You're going to look crazy anyway, so might as well go 110%. Before you jump in the water, yell at people with incomprehensible gibberish. The first caveman to find an oyster, man, how hungry must he have been. Archaeologists have even discovered oyster shell piles as high as 3 stories! Now that's a party. Unlike Costco and Halloween options, this one is actually good for you albeit difficult. And you could care less about the rescue plane circling your island.

This is a democracy, and I would like to add more to the HObama plan. How else can we maximize eating during this recession? Thanks for reading, and God bless the hungry American people.

Eat Drink Style The Bottle-of-Wine Glass by Vat19.com

Valentine's Day is coming up. When you're having that candlelit dinner, bring this out – the Bottle-of-Wine Glass. It'll tell your loved one a lot about yourself:

A. You're a complete alcoholic.
B. You're a selfish bastard.
C. You have other interests besides eating.
D. All of the above.

This is also the perfect glass for a party – but you hate everyone there! Find this here.

Eat Drink Style Vietnamese Banh Mi Sandwich + Panini Machine = Banhmi-ni

Banhmi-ni

At least once a month, J & I will take her mom down to Little Saigon to go play. Our routine is usually to either eat:

Pork Lemongrass Soup Noodles at Bun Bo Hue So 1 (bun bo hue)
Rice flour crepes stuffed with ground pork at Tay Ho (banh cuon)
Grilled cured-pork spring rolls at Brodard (nem nuong)
Grilled dill & turmeric fish at Hanoi Restaurant (cha ca)
Rice vermicelli soup with tomato & crab at Vien Dong (bun rieu)

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Even when we're full to the brim from the food of Little Saigon, there's always one last stop: vietnamese sandwiches at Banh Mi Che Cali (Garden Grove location by the 22 freeway). The sandwich is decent, as I prefer it much over the ubiquitous Lee Sandwiches, but they do offer the 3 for $5 deal which even makes old frugal, asian people do a double-take and say, "Damn, that's cheap. how do you live?!"

For those new to the Vietnamese sandwich "banh mi", it's a mix of French and Vietnamese. During the French colonization in Vietnam, they brought the bread and pate. The Vietnamese completed the equation with their selection of meats, pickled vegetables and chili. And its a great snacky snack.

Banh Mi Che Cali is an interesting place. J cannot stand going here, so her mom & I do the work. But you know what, if you have the patience, it's actually fun to watch. At least for me. It's kind of like being in a DMV or a post office that dispenses Vietnamese food. The customers AND employees are sometimes irate and within a few seconds away from giving you a fist or elbow stamp. So you have to have patience here. The customers, will sometimes try and cut in the front, carefully watching the workers wrap up the sandwiches like hawks, making sure that they don't mess up an order or give it to the wrong person. 12 types of sandwiches, you're bound to get the same order as someone else. One time I was in line with J's mom and this lady started to nudge in like she was invisible, and I just looked at her. But she turned her head and gave me an "I'm old, hungry and not moving" look. BMCC can resolve all of this by creating something called LINES or offer service numbers. It usually takes about 15 minutes to make a transaction here, but when you get out with the goods, you're happy.

Back at home, I was about to eat my 3-for-$5 sandwich, and to tell you the truth, I immediately became uninterested in it. It looked so boring. Bread. Meat. Cilantro. Zzzz. Boring because I've been eating it for so long.

And then I thought about J's panini machine.

Hmm... I wonder.

I dressed up my sandwich with the usual pickled carrots/daikon, cilantro and jalapeno. Argh. Where's the Maggi sauce? They really skimp on the Maggi dosage so you're better off adding it yourself. As the self-appointed curator of the Maggi Museum in Los Angeles, I happily went to my cabinet and picked out my standard asian Maggi and doused it. *Sigh* The aroma.

I plugged in J's Krups panini machine and threw the sandwich in. Sorry buddy, time to get a tan. Is the panini machine not a monumental step in the culinary world and cure for those with mageirocophobia? The fine-engineered rivets that sink into the bread with a very faint sizzle. The ergonomic handle that allows you to either gently toast the bread or pulverize the sandwich to an unrecognizable pulp. The sweet timer that reminds you that bread can also cause severe house fires. I decided to smash the crap out of it b/c I wanted it thin. And right away, my maggi sauce and liver pate squeezed out of the sandwich and began to caramelize, creating an interesting smell. I held that handle down for a good 1 minute then let Mr. Krups do the rest of the work. After about 3.5 minutes, I had a new product that I proudly named with teary eyes... the "Banhmi-ni".

Banhmi-ni

How did it taste? Quite good. It was all about the warm contents and the texture of the bread. As I bit in, I felt the warm headcheese, pork and pate coat my teeth. The maggi, daikon/carrots and cilantro were also warm which was bleh. Next time around, I'll add the veggies and jalapenos AFTER I've completed the "Banhmi-ni". If you're tired of Lee Sandwiches or any other joint, take it to the next level with a simple panini machine and experience the "Banhmi-ni" for absolutely no extra charge! Plus, you can buy a lifetime supply of sandwiches and pop them in the freezer, and resurrect them with the genius panini machine. You won't be cut off by old ladies or receive an elbow to the ribs any longer.

Thanks for reading. I also recommend the $3 'hu tieu' noodles available for take-out. Good price!

Banh Mi Che Cali Bakery
13838 Brookhurst St.
Garden Grove, CA 92843
(714) 534-6987

Eat Drink Style Happy Halloween, I mean, Happy Thanksgiving

Right after writing about the bacon narcotic, I got a lot of emails/links regarding bacon. Just too many to post. But this one just had to be posted. It is terrifying to look at, yet I know someone is drooling over his keyboard right now, searching for the recipe on Google.

What the HELL is this thing? We've all seen the turducken, but this is simply ridiculous. This looks like a freshly skinned zebra in the Safari. I'm going to have nightmares for as long as I live.

Anyway, drink lots of gravy and enjoy the gift of cholesterol! Thanks to Jwong for the pic.

Eat Drink Style Bacon. The Culinary World's Most Lethal Narcotic.

If you think about it, if there's one ingredient/food that really widens your eyes upon hearing the word, it has to be bacon (unless you're a vegetarian). You're at a restaurant and the waiter is going through his specials for the evening.

"Macaroni & cheese. Creamed corn soup. Baked potato skins."

Zzzzz. Boring. But what if you added the B-word to these all.

"Macaroni & cheese with bacon. Creamed corn soup with bacon. Baked potato skins with bacon."

Now things are interesting. I've come to the conclusion that bacon is a drug, you just don't know it. It'll be raising the eyebrows of every DEA agent very soon. Look at how this narcotic has spread through the nation, onto our plates.

Google's Krispy Kreme Bacon Cheeseburger (photo from Geeksaresexy.com)
We all know that Google spends a ton of money on fattening up their employees with starch, carbs and fat so they'll forget how much they are actually getting paid. They've taken the cheeseburger to another level by sandwiching in between Krispy Kreme donuts and adding the Special B in. It pains me to even look at this image – my cholesterol just jumped up 200 pts without even trying it. A minor league team in Sauget, Illinois has also made a pact to entertain their fans with action, entertainment and a free ambulance ride to the hospital with their 1,000+ calorie burger which is sold at $4.50. Is $4.50 worth a $45,000 bypass surgery?

Nickel Diner in Los Angeles's Maple-Bacon Doughnuts
*Clenching chest. This pastry is highly reviewed by the Yelp army and it actually sounds good – if you're stoned. Try it here.

Voodoo Doughnut's Version of the Bacon Doughnut
Maybe my fellow foodblogger in Portland, Guilty Carnivore, can shed some light on what this does to the arteries. Check out Voodoo Doughnut's site.

David Lebovitz's Bacon Ice Cream
Ok now, I would actually try this. This would taste so good on nicely toasted brioche. Send me a gallon David! Visit David's site for the recipe.

Respect the Bacon Suit
How do I look? J actually thinks I'm wearing the standard tuxedo and bowtie for our wedding whenever that happens. She will have the surprise of her lifetime.

Bacon Lip Balm
The good people over at J&D's (Justin & Dave's) know how to kill two birds with one stone: why not remind yourself of the aroma of bacon while moisturizing your lips. Geniusly gross???


Archie McPhee's Novelty Store
And finally, some wacky gag gifts and novelties can be found here.

Feel free to post some links to any other insane bacon-related food or product. Thanks for reading.

Eat Drink Style My Doppelgänger?

I received an email the other day with an interesting attachment. It's a photo of me in a snake shop in Taiwan and someone who looks like me. Crazy. Dress shirt, jeans, watch, camera strap. He even got the mosaic pixelation down in Photoshop too... level 8! Thanks to CL for this. BTW, it's not a miracle to be wearing the same thing as me. I only own one pair of jeans, shirt and uh, boxers.

Eat Drink Style Sriracha FAIL

On Sunday, I was down in Little Saigon for a monthly trip with J and her mom. While J was experiencing food coma in the car, her mom and I went to the market to buy a few goods. And I saw this...

a Sriracha bottle with not only a blue cap, but the icon of a horse/unicorn. Wait a minute! There's NO SUCH THING as unicorns in Vietnam, come on now. Where'd the rooster go? I took a closer look at the company, and it wasn't the original Huy Fong Foods based in Rosemead. This company Vi Hao Food Company took a stab at fooling customers with their version of Sriracha. For some reason, that baby blue cap doesn't look appealing to me – really reminds me of a baby bottle. Anyone try this sauce out? Can you imagine asking the waiter at your favorite pho restaurant:

"Excuse me, do you guys have the unicorn sauce? I can't eat my pho without it."

It doesn't sound right. But you know what, you never really see products out there with unicorns on it. I'm buying one.

Here's a message taken directly off the Huy Fong website:

"September 14, 2004

To our valued customers,

We would like to make you aware that we have discovered that there has been counterfeit Huy Fong Foods Sriracha Chili Sauce being sold. These counterfeits come in both 17oz. and 28oz. sizes. Since these products not only infringes upon our trademark registration, but also is produced for the main purpose of deceiving others into believing they are our products, we therefore want to warn you against purchasing this or any other counterfeits due to potential legal liabilities.

The counterfeit products are identical to our products in all regards, including the logo and wording on the label, except for the following distinguishable characteristics.

1. That taste is not identical to our product.

2. Below the green cap of our bottles, there is a protruding plastic ring, which is the same diameter of the green cap. The counterfeit product's ring is much smaller.

3. Our product's batch code consists of two lines printed with a laser etcher, which produces a clear, colorless imprint. The first line states the product/batch code (must start with an H) and the second line states the expiration date. The counterfeit does not have a product/batch code but has an expiration date that may be either be printed in black ink or or hot-stamped resulting in a colorless, blurry imprint.

4. Finally, our bottle has 'Huy Fong USA' embossed on the bottom of our bottle. The counterfeit does not.

The counterfeit products may not have been produced following quality guidelines, therefore consumption of these products may pose a health risk. In order to protect our consumers, we are respectfully requesting any information you may have regarding this counterfeit company. We thank you for your past and continued loyalty and your kind cooperation in this matter.

Respectfully yours,

Huy Fong Foods, Inc."

Somethings you can't stray away from – real Maggi, real 3-crabs fish sauce and real 3-lady rice paper haha. Definitely not the original rooster gangster.

For more FAILures, check out one of my favorite sites, Failblog.

Eat Drink Style Stroke of Ingenuity - Introducing the Food Pyramid Lunchbox

Found this on notcot.org and I was immediately hit with the 'why didn't i think of that?' hammer. Check out one of Li Jian Ye's many fun and unique inventions/concepts/ideations. Unfortunately, one can misuse the food pyramid lunch box by adding chili, cheese and fries in the respective tiers. Or simply, gravy soup.


Eat Drink Style The Village Pet Store & Charcoal Grill - Banksy's The New Chef in New York City

banksy1

One of my favorite artists has to be the political/controversial, underground street artist known as Banksy. Most consider his art vandalism, but I think it's pure genius. With over 500 counts of vandalism in less than a decade, it's obvious Banksy has something he really wants to tell you. A few years back, I went to his show in Los Angeles in the downtown warehouse district. I waited in a line with over 700 people along with Immaeatchu underneath the beating sun. But man, was it worth it. His biggest exhibit was a real elephant set within a living room environment. The elephant was painted with a brick pattern to match the actual warehouse brick walls. Banksy was addressing the issue of homelessness, saying that literally, "homelessness is something big that we choose to ignore."

This time, Banksy has hit something that you and I would be most interested in... food, or the lack of 'real food' or treatment of 'food'. Banksy rented out the space in a real pet store in Greenwich Village called "The Village Pet Store" and tacked on the 'charcoal grill' part for irony, as you will see in a few moments. He even hired people to work as store clerks to play the 'parts'. I haven't seen anything more genius. Enjoy. "The Village Pet Store and Charcoal Grill" is on display till Halloween.

I must admit that seeing the chicken mcnuggets really hit me but for processed meat like spam, I'm not sure I can veer away from that!







Eat Drink Style Swedish Fish Candy

swedishfish

Is this a good ad for the gummy Swedish Fish candy we ate as children or something else? Scary thing is that there are actually people out there who would prefer the left. Anthony Bourdain? Eddie Lin? Me? haha.

Eat Drink Style Yoshinoya: Quality Not Assured

On a scale of 5-stars, Yoshinoya deserves 1-star. Not for the food, which i personally think deserves 3 stars. This 1-star accolade applies to the knuckleheads for their level of customer service at this particular location that operate the establishment known as Yoshinoya... 'authentic' Japanese for non-Japanese. But like Jollibee, there is something intriguing – drawing me back in. The meat is beyond identifiable and could be a cross between donkey or zebra meat... a result of a bad animal cloning project gone awry that somehow made its way into our warm Styrofoam bowls. But man, that (insert mystery meat) juice is tasty.

So i go to Yoshinoya on the way home b/c that's where starving people frequent, especially when they have those BOGO free coupons. A whole bowl of zebra/donkey meat, onions and rice soaked in a lagoon of beef fat/soy sauce/msg for under $5. Hey i'm poor and hungry, sign me up please!

I walk in and immediately I see one female cashier sporting the manager button. She's laughing her ass off and looking down. I take a look at her and know that she's been down the HIGHway. Oily faced with slightly red eyes that were halfway open. I walk closer to the counter and take a look at the menu. Suddenly, i hear a laugh coming from below where her HIGHness is standing. Sure enough, she's got a colleague on the floor laughing while lying on her back. She looks at me and just busts up... doesn't even bother getting up. She apparently is high too. In the back, are two guys standing there laughing with them. After about 30 seconds later, the cashier realizes that... 'hey, maybe this guy is here for a reason. maybe he is actually here to order something from me. so maybe i should take his order? thanks my lovely brain." No sh*t, I came here to watch you circusfolk perform!

Cashier: "Hi, can i help you?"

Colleague-on-the-floor impersonates her in a weird voice: "Ugh... Hi, can i help you?"

Both start to laugh again uncontrollably. and gain conscience 15 seconds later.

Me: "I'll take two large beefs." (That sound weird.)

Cashier: *pppoooooffffft* "Ugh ok, two large beefs."

She then grabs the handy, bendy-mic and looks at me and says "two large beefs" in a deep and retarded tone and busts up.

Homegirl, who is still tanning on the floor under the fluorescent lights, starts laughing again. The whole time, the guy (line cooks) are echoing their laughs. They respond to the manager's professional request for 'two large beefs' and start to move about and DO something.

Cashier: "$9.50 please."

I pull out my card and swipe. I get my receipt and then the cashier says..

"Oh shit. I pushed the CASH button! haha. I didn't push debit/credit!"

Employee on the floor: "Stuuuuuupppppiiiiid."

More laughing ensues. I watched as she tried to correct the transaction for over 3 minutes. She couldn't even function and eventually just said "ah, fuck it!" Motor skills not kicking in.

Next, the girl on the floor gets up and grabs the mic from the cashier. And suddenly, a mini cat-fight ensues with some pretty hard slaps to the head – enough to hear a thump and make the two guys in the back say "oooooooh". They were too busy watching the cat-fight and stopped making my order. The girl backs off and wipes her hair/straightens out her clothing and suddenly grabs the mic again and starts to sing some song really loudly. She then pulls out her cellphone, activates her ringtone and puts it to the mic to add some musical ambiance to the restaurant, which already looks like a mix between a hospital cafeteria and morgue b/c of the drab tiling.

I stand back and just witness the wildlife scenario.... like I'm on a Safari. Binoculars and everything.

Next, two guys come in and walk straight to the counter. They whisper to the cashier and she walks to the kitchen and asks for some chicken wings and gives him a large cup. He gladly goes over to fill his drink and waits proudly for the free food. He is golden.

The four of them start to chat and I see my food being placed on the counter top. And I patiently wait to see how long it would take to get my food. 30 seconds. 45 seconds. 1 minute. 2 minutes. and finally at 3 minutes... I said "HEY!" while pointing at the food.

Cashier: "Oh fuck. sorry!"

I get my food, walk out and take a last look at the store and say to myself...

"I love Yoshinoya."

Eat Drink Style Jones Soda Company - The Thanksgiving Holiday Pack

The only thing I like about the thanksgiving dinner meal itself, is the gravy. My plate looks like the Brown Sea once I get my hands on that greasy ladel. I literally drink it. Because of my current look (refer to profile photo), I've got to slow down. Thanks to the Jones Soda Company, a brand known for quenching our thirsts with unique flavors has furthered its reputation. Introducing: the Holiday Pack.

- Turkey & Gravy Soda
- Sweet Potatoes Soda
- Dinner Roll Soda
- Pea Soda
- Antacid Soda


I'll probably by some this week and come back with a report.

Eat Drink Style Durian Candy... Only A Matter of Time

Durian Candy

My favorite type of movies have to be asian independent/foreign films. And I owe it to my dad for getting me so into it. On my Netflix queue, I'd say 30% of my queue is foreign. America is very sensitive and there are just way too many topics that would get the MPAA hot and bothered. Especially Asian horror. That's why there's the foreign section in any movie store - it's for you to get a glimpse of something unfamiliar and untainted. Anyway, as a kid, my dad would take me to the old Garfield Theatre on Valley/Garfield - where Kang Kang Food Court and Crepe In The Grip now exist. But besides watching Asian cinema, which during that time – hailed some bad film making, I was more interested in the snack bar. And it wasn't your typical snack bar. No popcorn, no nachos or Milk Duds. They offered stuff like dried cuttlefish, fruit-flavored and curry-flavored beef jerky, White Rabbit candy, dried prunes in those plastic heart-shaped containers, haw flakes, and canned grass jelly. Oh pure FOB joy. It's not like I couldn't get those at the local Chinese market - it was just special to eat pungent food in a theatre with other people eating pungent food. Just like the fresh smell of canned butter. Mmm.

But things may have been different in theatres if they had offered... Durian Candy! What is durian? It's a spiky fruit that is known for it's sweet yet pungent odor. I didn't like the stuff growing up as my relatives would try to foie gras that sh*t into my body. Garfield Theatre is no longer in commission and I could imagine a conversation with the manager sounding like this, if they had sold this particular stinkbomb candy.

"Yeah, we're shutting down the place in about a few weeks. Ticket sales have been plummeting. I'm sad. Oh, and by the way, you have to try our new durian candy at the concession stand - it's great! I know Chinese love it!"

This weekend I was in Chinatown eating lunch with J and her mom at Mien Nghia. Afterwards we headed to the Wing Hop Fung emporium to find medicine and I stumpled upon this! If I see something that even looks remotely bizarre, I immediately think about about my friend Eddie of Deep End Dining and Steve of Steve Don't Eat It! Hey, have to try all the food I can before I die.

Durian Candy

There are some bad girls out there, but the clever, snide ones, put on the innocent look. This candy is no different. She looks like a caramel, but inside is a spiky bomb waiting to detonate. Made with durian powder, malt, sugar and coconut milk this has the light odor of durian. It's encased in wax for easy wrapper removal. *Pop* Ok, hmm... no initial taste. About 5 seconds into it, I started to taste the durian-ness. Then the taste of coconut milk which steadily balanced out the durian powder. Hmm! I like it! For the whole 5 minutes it took to eat the candy, it kept me amused - not like gum which loses it's flavor after about 15 seconds. If you're into bizarre candy - try this too! I like these a lot... Gengkis Khan Caramels!

Wing Hop Fung Emporium
727 N. Broadway Suite #102
Los Angeles, CA 90012
(213) 626-7200

Eat Drink Style The Dumpling Master 3000: A Monumental Achievement in the World of Kitchen Gadgets

I just found one of the coolest Japanese gadgets ever. And it's actually 'un-useless! A gadget that would make Sandra Lee and her saggy muffins do a back flip. Introducing the... Dumpling Master 3000! It's pretty easy making a dumpling, but it's the crimping that takes the most time. I found this at the Tokyo Outlet, the junk store that's in the same plaza as Kinchan's Ramen and Hurry Curry. For $1.29, your days of spending 30+ seconds per dumpling are over!

Simply put your skin over the circle, brush a little egg wash, add your filling, and bring the ends together in a clamshell motion! Wa-wa-wee-wa! You can do this all day until you get sick of it. Even a monkey can do it!

Fill, press and repeat! These are too cool – I had to buy a few of them for gag gifts. Thanks for reading!

Eat Drink Style Starburst's New Berries n' Créme: The Power of Viral Advertising

As an advertising art director, I have to keep up with all of the work out at the moment. And if you've seen the recent change in TV spots for Starburst and Skittles... know that this is a huge change for a tough client. So does this commercial... make you laugh or annoy the crap out of you? Videos of people impersonating this Little Blue Boy character are all over YouTube. I was first annoyed when I watched this TV spot, but the more and more I think about it, the funnier it is.

Here are some other great Starburst and Skittles spots for candy lovers out there. Happy Friday! Thanks for reading.

Starburst: Factory
Starburst: Ernie the Klepto
Starburst: Art Class
Skittles: Leak
Skittles: Rabbit
Skittles: Tropical Island