Eat Drink Style Yoshinoya: Quality Not Assured

On a scale of 5-stars, Yoshinoya deserves 1-star. Not for the food, which i personally think deserves 3 stars. This 1-star accolade applies to the knuckleheads for their level of customer service at this particular location that operate the establishment known as Yoshinoya... 'authentic' Japanese for non-Japanese. But like Jollibee, there is something intriguing – drawing me back in. The meat is beyond identifiable and could be a cross between donkey or zebra meat... a result of a bad animal cloning project gone awry that somehow made its way into our warm Styrofoam bowls. But man, that (insert mystery meat) juice is tasty.

So i go to Yoshinoya on the way home b/c that's where starving people frequent, especially when they have those BOGO free coupons. A whole bowl of zebra/donkey meat, onions and rice soaked in a lagoon of beef fat/soy sauce/msg for under $5. Hey i'm poor and hungry, sign me up please!

I walk in and immediately I see one female cashier sporting the manager button. She's laughing her ass off and looking down. I take a look at her and know that she's been down the HIGHway. Oily faced with slightly red eyes that were halfway open. I walk closer to the counter and take a look at the menu. Suddenly, i hear a laugh coming from below where her HIGHness is standing. Sure enough, she's got a colleague on the floor laughing while lying on her back. She looks at me and just busts up... doesn't even bother getting up. She apparently is high too. In the back, are two guys standing there laughing with them. After about 30 seconds later, the cashier realizes that... 'hey, maybe this guy is here for a reason. maybe he is actually here to order something from me. so maybe i should take his order? thanks my lovely brain." No sh*t, I came here to watch you circusfolk perform!

Cashier: "Hi, can i help you?"

Colleague-on-the-floor impersonates her in a weird voice: "Ugh... Hi, can i help you?"

Both start to laugh again uncontrollably. and gain conscience 15 seconds later.

Me: "I'll take two large beefs." (That sound weird.)

Cashier: *pppoooooffffft* "Ugh ok, two large beefs."

She then grabs the handy, bendy-mic and looks at me and says "two large beefs" in a deep and retarded tone and busts up.

Homegirl, who is still tanning on the floor under the fluorescent lights, starts laughing again. The whole time, the guy (line cooks) are echoing their laughs. They respond to the manager's professional request for 'two large beefs' and start to move about and DO something.

Cashier: "$9.50 please."

I pull out my card and swipe. I get my receipt and then the cashier says..

"Oh shit. I pushed the CASH button! haha. I didn't push debit/credit!"

Employee on the floor: "Stuuuuuupppppiiiiid."

More laughing ensues. I watched as she tried to correct the transaction for over 3 minutes. She couldn't even function and eventually just said "ah, fuck it!" Motor skills not kicking in.

Next, the girl on the floor gets up and grabs the mic from the cashier. And suddenly, a mini cat-fight ensues with some pretty hard slaps to the head – enough to hear a thump and make the two guys in the back say "oooooooh". They were too busy watching the cat-fight and stopped making my order. The girl backs off and wipes her hair/straightens out her clothing and suddenly grabs the mic again and starts to sing some song really loudly. She then pulls out her cellphone, activates her ringtone and puts it to the mic to add some musical ambiance to the restaurant, which already looks like a mix between a hospital cafeteria and morgue b/c of the drab tiling.

I stand back and just witness the wildlife scenario.... like I'm on a Safari. Binoculars and everything.

Next, two guys come in and walk straight to the counter. They whisper to the cashier and she walks to the kitchen and asks for some chicken wings and gives him a large cup. He gladly goes over to fill his drink and waits proudly for the free food. He is golden.

The four of them start to chat and I see my food being placed on the counter top. And I patiently wait to see how long it would take to get my food. 30 seconds. 45 seconds. 1 minute. 2 minutes. and finally at 3 minutes... I said "HEY!" while pointing at the food.

Cashier: "Oh fuck. sorry!"

I get my food, walk out and take a last look at the store and say to myself...

"I love Yoshinoya."

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