Eat Drink Style The Bammy - Subway's Take On A Vietnamese Classic

For as long as I can remember, the Vietnamese sandwich known as banh mi, has been a part of my life. Even as a Chinese American, this stuff would always be around my family and friends. It was cheap, easy to sell/make and tasted better than most American sandwiches. For $5, you can get at least four – one for each person in the typical 4-person Asian family. It was the go-to fill-up snack because it was cheaper than anything at McDonald's. Even if we didn't have a store-bought sandwich, we'd have some variation of the banh mi. As a kid in elementary school, I'd have my mom's mutated version which consisted of thick slices of the Vietnamese meatloaf known as cha, liverwurst (American pâté) and mayonnaise – smacked between two pieces of Wonder bread. On fishing trips with family friends, there'd be an endless supply of Capri Sun and banh mi in the cooler. Hungry? Have a banh mi! We'd pick that sandwich up with our fish and worm-flavored hands and go to town. My Lao aunt in Fresno also ran a small sandwich business right out of her kitchen and guess what we got to eat every time we were there - banh mi. Banh mi was seriously around so often it was like a brother to me – always there to wrestle and play video games with.

So you can understand why one would take a hiatus from the beloved sandwich. I was tired of it. After I graduated from high school, I don't think I touched banh mi unless I had to. As a college student, I made quick trips to Little Saigon to satisfy my broke ass. To me the food was nearly forgotten as I found love in other things such as noodles. Then around 2006, Vietnamese sandwich shops started popping up like the current food trucks as more Vietnamese residents and immigrants moved out of Rosemead and El Monte. On Valley Blvd. alone, you'll find at least a dozen places selling banh mi, including chains like Banh Mi Che Cali and Lee Sandwiches. This was the mainstream for the people of San Gabriel Valley and certainly not earth-shaking news.

Then earlier this week, my friend sent me a link to a New York Times article titled "The Vietnamese Sandwich. Banh Mi in America" by a Jordan Michelman. This was published after last year's banh mi craze in New York City which left me and I'm sure many others, scratching our head. Interesting considering most people look to New York as the pioneer of trends, especially fashion and food. This isn't the first time an article on banh mi has been published. But it was the first time I realized how long it has taken Vietnamese culture to be recognized in the history of America – especially since the Vietnamese have been here as early as the late 1960s. A few decades for New York Times to "discover" this sandwich? You don't see Jonathan Gold writing an article every 6 months on banh mi to remind us that it exists. Does something have to go through the New York "fad machine" before it gets any attention? Even in Los Angeles, the banh mi mutant can be found at places like Six (banh mi burger), Mendocino Farms (pork belly banh mi) and Nom Nom Truck (banh mi tacos). But I thought to myself, this is indeed a great time to really advertise the shit out of this delicious, Vietnamese sandwich... and really aggregate the credit it deserves.

Banh mi may be big in New York and Los Angeles right now, but it isn't big until it goes national. And when it comes to sandwiches, there's no one more sandwichy than Jared Fogle's Subway nation. Not sure why I even linked to Subway... you've got to be from space if you haven't heard of it. I like to have fun when I eat – especially with corporate places like Hometown Buffet, Souplantation and Yoshinoya. So I decided to have some fun with Subway and find out if I can actually make the Vietnamese sandwich an American favorite. But what do you call this new potential menu item?

Well, if a sandwich is a "Sammy", then a banh mi must be a "Bammy"!

On a random weeknight, I find myself standing in the most depressing line ever at Subway. There are five of us, heads tilted up 45 degrees staring at the menu of bland food. Is this what we as Americans resort to? A life of 9-6? 2 hour commutes? Buying goods by bulk at Costco? Lunches at Subway? Do I want to pay $5, $6 or $7 for a foot long blandwich? Should I have the blandwich with teriyaki sauce or the ham & bland sandwich ? The menu is simply comprised of words put up to disguise the word "bland" and there is no difference in what you order because it won't have any taste period. When a "sandwich artist" asks me what else I'd like to add to my sandwich, I usually respond with, "flavor."

But actually, as I'm standing in line with the other customers waiting for toasted boredom to be served, I smile a little. I have an advantage over the other customers and employees - and they don't even know it. I'm equipped with an actual banh mi sandwich from Chinatown's Buu Dien, some Maggi sauce, fresh jalapeno slices, scrambled eggs from home and some real Vietnamese pate. Yes! And tonight's challenge is to see whether or not I can make an actual Subway sandwich edible and dare I say, as tasty as a Vietnamese banh mi.

It's now my turn to order and I order a toasted black forest ham and turkey Foot Long for $6, which by the way is equivalent to five banh mi sandwiches at your average Vietnamese joint. I wanted to keep this as authentic to Subway's ingredients and build. I picked the black forest ham because it is the closest in color and taste to the pink, headcheese (gio thu) and BBQ pork (xa xiu) used in banh mi. I picked the turkey because it is the closest in color and taste to the grey meatloaf known as cha. For the toppings, I added cucumber, cilantro, pickled jalapeno slices, salt & pepper and a thin line of mayonnaise. No oil, vinegar or whatever liquids they offer. I asked the "sandwich artist" not to fold the sandwich over and F up the innards. They even kept it served open face for me and placed it on a tray. I'm pretty sure they considered me crazy. Love it. Haha.

I then drew an imaginary DMZ line to distinguish the Northern and the Southern region of the sandwich. On top is Subway's Sammy using original store ingredients plus pate and Maggi Sauce vs. SaigonWay's Bammy with the traditional fixings.

Subway's Bammy
- plain bread
- ham
- turkey
- cucumber
- canned, pickled jalapeños
- cilantro
- mayonnaise
- pate
- Maggi sauce

SaigonWay's Banh Mi
- plain bread
- ham
- turkey
- cucumber
- fresh jalapeño slices
- cilantro with stem
- pickled radish & carrots
- mayonnaise
- pate
- Maggi sauce
- fried egg (optional, it's what I love adding to my banh mi)

Subway's "Sammy"
For the first time in a long while, I felt fear. The last time from a serving of deep fried insects at a food stall in Cambodia. I had prepped myself with a few neck cracks and got my gag reflexes ready. I grabbed the sandwich... crumbs from the shitty bread landed on the tray. What am I doing? I took a bite and not to my surprise... there was absolutely no flavor. There was so much bland matter due to the sawdust bread and processed meat - I couldn't taste anything! Maggi Sauce is used to PROVIDE flavor. But yet it could not provide this time – it let me down. I put this sandwich down after the 2nd bite. Even a foot long of Cambodian fried insects had more flavor.

SaigonWay's "Bammy"
Now, on to the real test. I opened the sandwich and made sure everything was evenly distributed. It was the moment I've been waiting for. Actually the moment every American slave of the corporate lunch cafeteria known as Subway was waiting for. If I succeeded, I knew that I have done something for my country. I had at least provided ONE item on Subway's menu that actually had something called flavor. I took a bite, and I have to say, it was a familiar taste. Even though the meat wasn't the right kind, the balance of Maggi Sauce, fried egg, pate, fresh jalapeno, fresh cilantro and fresh daikon and carrots made so much sense in that sawdust bread. I actually ate half of this and partially enjoyed it. All Subway has to do is offer a few more ingredients that really don't cost anything! But you say the words pate or liverwurst and you'll lose customers. And what in the world is Maggi sauce?

My work wasn't finished tonight though. This is my palate, and I know what I'm looking for in a sandwich. The true test though was finding out whether or not the actual Subway sandwich artists would eat my fixed-up version of their blandwich. I wouldn't go in peace until I had them try it. I waited for the right moment when the customers parted with their foot longs and approached this young man. We'll call him Justin. Within a few minutes and persuasive words, I had him sitting down at the table with the "Sammy" and "Bammy" in front of him.

Justin: "What am I eating?"
Me: "You're going to eat a Subway take on a Vietnamese sandwich."
Justin: "What's in it?"
Me: "Oh nothing really. Just your meats and veggies and a few extras."
Justin: "You sure?"
Me: "Dude, I'm not trying to kill you man. Even if I was, you've got cameras rolling."

Justin actually went in and took a big bite, making sure his gums made sweet love with that sandwich. He took a few bites and then looked at me.

Me: "And?"
Justin: "Nothing. It's bland man!"
Me: "Of course it's bland. It's Subway."
Justin: "..........."
Me: "Last one, try my version."

Like a good employee, Justin looked to see that there were no hungry patrons queuing up. With a reluctant look, he picked up the "Bammy" and sank his teeth in once more. But this time, to my surprise, he raised his eyebrows slightly and his eyes widened. And there was a slight bob of satisfaction.

Me: "And....?"
Justin: "This is actually pretty good. I like the taste. What's in it?"
Me: "Subway's ham and turkey, fresh jalapeno, fresh cilantro, pickled radish and carrots, fried egg and the special Maggi Sauce."
Justin: "It tastes fresh. Oh man, that egg is real nice."
Me: "Yeah that's key man."
Justin: "Alright man, are we done? I gotta get back to work."
Me: "Thank you."

One down, and a whole nation to go. Is there hope for the American palate? Whether or not Subway actually decides to put this on their menu, I may not live long enough to see the revolt against bland food. I threw away the food and started packing up. As I headed out, Justin said:

Justin: "Hey man, what's that sauce you put in that sandwich?"
Me: "It's called Maggi sauce."
Justin: "What is it?"
Me: "Flavor."

Subway, dreams of flavored food can come true. Look I've done the POP (point-of-purchase) displays for you! Yes, I'm an ad guy! We can also start rolling your new Jared spots right away.

"Hello, I'm Jared. Remember me? I used to weigh 450 lbs. I'm over in the Far East to advertise Subway's new sandwich, "The Bammy". I've cut out the 14 hour flight for you and endured some of the roughest conditions to bring you Vietnam's delicious sandwich. We use only the freshest, greenest cilantro. Guys.... can we cut. I feel some leeches in my pants."

"Hi again, it's me Jared. I've also cut out the vicious Saigon traffic for you by riding helmet-less with my buddies Tuan and Huan. I almost wet my khakis like a little girl trying to cross the streets of Saigon! Where we going guys? My mom's expecting me home for dinner."

So, if you saw "The Bammy" on the Subway menu, would you eat it? The truth is, you'll never see this on the Subway menu just as you'll never see a delicious shawarma, torta, cemita. Even if it was on the menu, you know it wouldn't be good haha. I would take any of those ANY DAY of the week over anything from Subway. But surprisingly, as diverse as America is, the Subway people of Milford, Connecticut still feel that their current menu is a good representation of what the American palate craves. So Subway, would you like your "Bammy" toasted or not toasted?

Thanks for reading.

Eat Drink Style Vietnamese Banh Mi Sandwich + Panini Machine = Banhmi-ni

At least once a month, J & I will take her mom down to Little Saigon to go play. Our routine is usually to either eat:

Pork Lemongrass Soup Noodles at Bun Bo Hue So 1 (bun bo hue)
Rice flour crepes stuffed with ground pork at Tay Ho (banh cuon)
Grilled cured-pork spring rolls at Brodard (nem nuong)
Grilled dill & turmeric fish at Hanoi Restaurant (cha ca)
Rice vermicelli soup with tomato & crab at Vien Dong (bun rieu)

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Even when we're full to the brim from the food of Little Saigon, there's always one last stop: vietnamese sandwiches at Banh Mi Che Cali (Garden Grove location by the 22 freeway). The sandwich is decent, as I prefer it much over the ubiquitous Lee Sandwiches, but they do offer the 3 for $5 deal which even makes old frugal, asian people do a double-take and say, "Damn, that's cheap. how do you live?!"

For those new to the Vietnamese sandwich "banh mi", it's a mix of French and Vietnamese. During the French colonization in Vietnam, they brought the bread and pate. The Vietnamese completed the equation with their selection of meats, pickled vegetables and chili. And its a great snacky snack.

Banh Mi Che Cali is an interesting place. J cannot stand going here, so her mom & I do the work. But you know what, if you have the patience, it's actually fun to watch. At least for me. It's kind of like being in a DMV or a post office that dispenses Vietnamese food. The customers AND employees are sometimes irate and within a few seconds away from giving you a fist or elbow stamp. So you have to have patience here. The customers, will sometimes try and cut in the front, carefully watching the workers wrap up the sandwiches like hawks, making sure that they don't mess up an order or give it to the wrong person. 12 types of sandwiches, you're bound to get the same order as someone else. One time I was in line with J's mom and this lady started to nudge in like she was invisible, and I just looked at her. But she turned her head and gave me an "I'm old, hungry and not moving" look. BMCC can resolve all of this by creating something called LINES or offer service numbers. It usually takes about 15 minutes to make a transaction here, but when you get out with the goods, you're happy.

Back at home, I was about to eat my 3-for-$5 sandwich, and to tell you the truth, I immediately became uninterested in it. It looked so boring. Bread. Meat. Cilantro. Zzzz. Boring because I've been eating it for so long.

And then I thought about J's panini machine.

Hmm... I wonder.

I dressed up my sandwich with the usual pickled carrots/daikon, cilantro and jalapeno. Argh. Where's the Maggi sauce? They really skimp on the Maggi dosage so you're better off adding it yourself. As the self-appointed curator of the Maggi Museum in Los Angeles, I happily went to my cabinet and picked out my standard asian Maggi and doused it. *Sigh* The aroma.

I plugged in J's Krups panini machine and threw the sandwich in. Sorry buddy, time to get a tan. Is the panini machine not a monumental step in the culinary world and cure for those with mageirocophobia? The fine-engineered rivets that sink into the bread with a very faint sizzle. The ergonomic handle that allows you to either gently toast the bread or pulverize the sandwich to an unrecognizable pulp. The sweet timer that reminds you that bread can also cause severe house fires. I decided to smash the crap out of it b/c I wanted it thin. And right away, my maggi sauce and liver pate squeezed out of the sandwich and began to caramelize, creating an interesting smell. I held that handle down for a good 1 minute then let Mr. Krups do the rest of the work. After about 3.5 minutes, I had a new product that I proudly named with teary eyes... the "Banhmi-ni".

How did it taste? Quite good. It was all about the warm contents and the texture of the bread. As I bit in, I felt the warm headcheese, pork and pate coat my teeth. The maggi, daikon/carrots and cilantro were also warm which was bleh. Next time around, I'll add the veggies and jalapenos AFTER I've completed the "Banhmi-ni". If you're tired of Lee Sandwiches or any other joint, take it to the next level with a simple panini machine and experience the "Banhmi-ni" for absolutely no extra charge! Plus, you can buy a lifetime supply of sandwiches and pop them in the freezer, and resurrect them with the genius panini machine. You won't be cut off by old ladies or receive an elbow to the ribs any longer.

Thanks for reading. I also recommend the $3 'hu tieu' noodles available for take-out. Good price!

Banh Mi Che Cali Bakery
13838 Brookhurst St.
Garden Grove, CA 92843
(714) 534-6987

Eat Drink Style Saigon, Vietnam - Hello Saigon, Nice to Finally Meet You and Eat You

Since the first day I was with Jeni, I told her that I wanted to see Vietnam. I had a lot of Vietnamese friends in college and they had introduced me to the Vietnamese culture in Orange County, California. It was one food I enjoyed eating and wanted to know more about it. Both the cities of Westminster and Garden Grove are better known to outsiders as Little Saigon, the largest Vietnamese enclave in California. To Vietnamese immigrants, it was a satellite home with many of the attributes of their country, completely intact. To the group I had met in college, Little Saigon meant occasional visitations to tailor shops to make my own slacks, late nights dining at the old Spire's diner, weekend loiterings at the Asian Garden Mall (Phuoc Loc Tho), karaoke lounges, Vietnamese electronic clubs and of course, a TON of good eating.

In 2007, we had an amazing trip to Yangshuo, China. She was meeting me in Hong Kong via Vietnam, and from there we would take off to Southern China. I was actually more interested in hearing about her trip to Vietnam than introducing her to my motherland of Hong Kong. She promised me that we would go together one day to experience half of her heritage.

It was almost October and we still had not planned our Christmas holiday trip. We had just visited Brazil, Argentina and Uruguay, so we had to stay off the South America track for a little while. If you haven't noticed, our budget has only allowed us to do Central/South America and Asia. We're not at the point where we can get a butt-kicking in places like London, where a burger will cost you nearly $20. $20 in our choice countries goes a long way. So we looked to Asia again. We had the idea of visiting each of our motherlands. She, being Vietnamese and Japanese and me being Chinese and Laotian, we would go for this. I would get to see Vietnam and she and I would see Laos (my father's country) for the first time. We've both been to Hong Kong together and Japan separately, so those were somewhat checked off the list.

A few days before Christmas, we stood at Tom Bradley International wielding our plump backpacks. We said goodbye to her mom and walked into the terminal with a glow on our faces. It was our third Christmas of traveling and time away from Los Angeles – what a feeling that is.

12 hours later, we took a pit stop in Taipei and we found ourselves standing...

in the Hello Kitty Lounge of the Tao Yuan International airport. What sicko decided to build something like this? Pink chairs, shiny murals and checkered tiles. Look what they did to one of the EVA Air planes! If you ask me, it's cute-overload terrorism. Didn't they know that it was narcotics to Jeni and every Asian girl in the world. And that every one of those doped-up girls would make their brothers, fathers, boyfriends and husbands take photos of them. There I stood, taking photos of my adult-wife in front of murals and waiting for her to shop for things she didn't need in the Hello Kitty store. But I didn't care really, because in a few hours, I was about to have an authentic bowl of pho. I immediately forgot where I was and smiled. I must have looked like a still-living-with-parents pedophile, standing there in that Hello Kitty Lounge. The day will come when Hello Kitty becomes an evil dictator, you'll see.

We were back on the plane in a few hours. You know that interactive map channel in planes? I checked it periodically to see how our little white airplane was doing. I love how the cartoon representation makes you forget that you're flying at 500+ mph. 35,000 feet in the air. Over deep oceans. I watched it pass Korea, Japan, Hong Kong... and finally approach Ho Chi Minh City, formerly known as Saigon. We finally landed and I expected the airline attendant to get on the speaker: "Hello, we are now descending into Ho Chi Minh City. To prepare you for the delectable foods of Vietnam, we've begun to pump fish sauce and pho broth into the vents to whet your appetite. Enjoy your time here and don't drink tap water. Thanks for flying with us."

Jeni looked at me and just shook her head. She knew what I was thinking about.
"Hey! Hold on okay? Be patient." I was ready. To eat.

We picked up our backpacks at the carousel and found a taxi driver. Of all the times I've driven or been in other countries, I was not prepared for the type of traffic Ho Chi Minh City is known for. There was traffic EVERYWHERE. Scooters, motorbikes and trucks came from all directions, even towards us, like the city was one big beehive. Some motorists were so close to the vehicle I could have reached out and given them a high-five. And at times, there were people crossing through this madness with caution, yet they seemed relaxed. Jeni looked at me and laughed, "Welcome to Saigon." I sat back in my seat to give my eyes a break from this visual overload and just soaked it all in.

After a few minutes, it just seemed to make sense to me. And I couldn't help but laugh to myself. To any foreigner, this was the end of their life. To Vietnamese, this was the theory of yin and yang in action. It was the norm. Saigon has made me appreciate the beauty of LANES. If the game developers of Gran Turismo run out of ideas for their next game, I've got a suggestion. Racing on a track against other people is easy, but what about adding the obstacle of dodging people, animals and vehicles from all directions. Think of it as an updated version of Frogger.

Here's some footage of us zipping through Saigon. Jeni and I ended up renting a scooter anyway because it was the best way to get around and really experience the city. Plus, we didn't have to deal with shady taxi drivers and cyclo drivers that base their rates on your country of origin. I've heard too many stories of people being locked in a car until they paid the driver's amount. Most people would avoid all problems and just give in. Riding around in Saigon was seriously like driving in a video game. Motorists, vehicles and pedestrians came from all over but there was constant visual contact which made everything work. Like ants in a colony, there was a telepathic understanding. If you wanted your way, you were aggressive about it and honked your horn. It was actually more stressful being in a car because you had to give way to scooters. You didn't have to stop for pedestrians but you swerved slightly to the side of them to let them walk. We had an awesome time. After cruising around, we just found something simple to eat and call it a day. Because tomorrow would be a more focused day of eating. I fell asleep shortly after midnight with an English Premier League game on.

The next day I woke up at around 5:45 am. Not to the sound of my alarm or iPhone, but a LOUD rooster. I smiled and thought to myself, "Only in Asia!" I took a look outside of the guesthouse window and spotted the rooster that signaled the beginning of some good eating. He paced back and forth on a small balcony like a military soldier on patrol duty. All around me, I could hear the never-ending cacophony of street life. People chattering and scooters honking. I showered, got dressed and gave the wife a kiss. Without asking me where I was going, she said, "have fun." Of course, she knows. She's my wife.

At 6 am, life was happening here in Saigon. District 1 of Saigon to be exact. We stayed in an area called Pham Ngu Lao, an area where most backpackers stay. The whole street of Bui Vien, is lined with backpacker-friendly streets. Guesthouses, bars, laundromats, stores selling photocopied collections of Lonely Planet books and non-Vietnamese food. There were food stalls already serving up breakfast to locals. There were groups of men drinking tea and smoking cigarettes. Little children on their way to school. Other clueless foreigners walking around. Honking scooters. Dogs. Cats. Chickens. All minding their own business.

I saw this wedding car right outside the guesthouse. I looked behind to watch groom and his groomsmen carrying a large roasted pig in front of a small complex. They laughed as they beckoned their way into the bride's home with their crispy dowry. I've seen this done at family gatherings but this was happening at 6 am on a busy street on a Wednesday. It was beautiful.

Vietnamese Beef Noodle Soup (Pho Bo)
I walked no more than three blocks before I found my first victim. I had my first bowl of pho in 1987 and 23 years later, I was going to have my first bowl in the country of Vietnam. I hoped it would be as special as eating a real bowl of wontons in Hong Kong. When we were heading to our guesthouse from the airport, I stared at every business that had the word pho in it. From a dictionary, the word pho, with the correct accent marks also means things like "to escort/assist", "a deputy", "to show off" or "snowy". None of these words matter to me. Like any street with heavy competition, the employees at this corner pho restaurant waved me in with their hand gestures and stuck a menu to my chest. It was 6 am and way too early to go running around the city for a convincing bowl of pho. All the food I saw on the street looked convincing.

I was directed by the owner to a stool right in front of the "kitchen". The "kitchen" consisted of a four-wheeled, metal table with a glass display case and shelving. There was also a large steamy pot in the middle of the table for cooking noodles, a chopping board and a folded counter top enough for four patrons to digest their meal. All along the display case were the assorted goodies from the cow you could choose from. At this particular pho stall, they only offered rare beef, brisket, tendon and beef balls. Behind the cook, was the soul of the restaurant: a huge cauldron of pho broth.

The owner came by with a plate of bean sprouts and thinly sliced orange/yellow chilies that were quite fiery - not jalapenos. For condiments, there were two small tin jars with the orange chili sauce we know as Sriracha and brown hoisin sauce. Both of them tasted different than I expected. The "Sriracha" had a sweetness to it and the hoisin was much lighter in strength. I watched the cook as he prepared the bowl of noodles in under one minute. I added a few slices of the chilies and black pepper and first dipped my feet in the water. The broth was very light in color and strong in spices. It was very good and much different than any bowl of pho I had back at home. It was very light and had a homeyness to it that made me finish all the soup - I enjoyed it. I took a taste of the brisket which was excellent, due to low & slow cooking and the usage of free-range cows we pay more money for here in the U.S. This wasn't the best bowl of pho I've eaten but I wouldn't think twice about eating here again at 6 am with locals on a crowded street. It was humbling. Especially when the bowl only cost me $1.25.

Vietnamese Style Sandwich (Banh Mi)
In Los Angeles, Latino street vendors have their taco tables and shopping carts loaded with Gatorade/Igloo coolers. Here in Vietnam, they've got a luxurious table with glass display case and wheels. This is basically your Subway on wheels - minus Jared. Almost all vendors of banh mi had this set up. You've got your bread, loaves of Vietnamese meatloaf (cha), roasted pork, cheese, dried pork sung, huge block of liver paté and condiments. Underneath, you've got cabinets for storage and a portable gas stove to fry up some eggs for that special banh mi with fried egg. I watched the banh mi lady preparing a dac biet sandwich (literally means special, "the works"). She first smacked on margarine, mayonnaise and a heavy serving of pate. Next she laid out two pieces of the roast pork (i think it was pork butt, rolled up, tied with twine and then roasted) and two pieces of the Vietnamese meatloaf (cha lua). Then the pickled veggies and cilantro were added, followed by a nice dosage of Vietnamese soy sauce (aka Maggi Sauce) and chili sauce. This foot-long banh mi set you back $0.75. Some vendors had a coal oven that they warmed the bread in. It tastes so much better when toasted. Jesus.

It was now my turn to order and I knew this because the lady gave me a blank look with her hands out. With no knowledge of the Vietnamese language, I employed the point-and-order technique which always works. I ordered the dac biet minus the cheese and chili sauce. But with a fried egg (trung chien), because life is always better with a fried egg! She knelt down with a grunt, opened up the cabinet drawers and flipped on her portable stove. She scrambled the egg, added some margarine and cooked up my eggs rare and juicy. I stopped her while she bagged it, and she gave me a puzzled look. No point in wasting plastic because that banh mi was going to have the lifespan of no more than 5 minutes. I paid her and she and her baby daughter watched as I devoured it. I gave her a thumbs up and she responded with no facial expression. And we both lived happily ever after.

I saw this lady for the next few days and dubbed her the "Gangster Porkchop Lady" (thit nuong gangster). She always wore that hat, protective glasses and a mask - ready to do some surgery on me. All you needed was some Snoop playing in the background. With the mask I could never tell if she was smiling. She more or less looked like she was dogging me. Probably saying stuff like, "if you don't fucking buy a pork chop, i'm going to kill you." JK, she was really nice. We are now in the same gang and have each other's back.

Vietnamese Beef Stew with Rice Noodles (Hu Tieu Bo Kho)
If you're into food like I am, you try your best to remember the names of each culture's food, as well as know its pronunciation. I learned how to read the phonetic Korean alphabet JUST so I could order food off their menu. With Vietnamese, it's pretty much a romance language with squiggly accent marks. So when I stood in front of this stall like a stranger walking into the Cheers bar, the cooks and patrons all turned around to stare at me. For about three seconds, there was complete silence as people stopped eating. From where I stood, I could see something orange in the soup pot. It smelled like beef, tomatoes and carrots and could only mean one thing. As soon as I said the words "bo kho?" came out of my mouth, everyone smiled and welcomed me. I got the go ahead to join the pack.

I sat next to an older woman who was hunched over her bowl of Vietnamese beef stew. She smiled at my cluelessness and probably wondered if I knew what the hell I was doing. If you haven't had this dish, you'll usually see it served in a thicker form with some toasted French bread in Vietnamese restaurants. This is a take on your basic French stew cooked with red wine, but in my opinion, even better. The Vietnamese version omits red wine, and uses fish sauce and a crap load of star anise. I was handed my bowl and the woman next to me (pictured above) immediately pointed to the condiments I had to add in. Some fresh chilies, a scoop of hot chili sauce, some herbs and lastly, a hard squeeze on a lime wedge. I have to say, this was even more appealing to me than the pho I had up the street earlier. The broth was very light in tomato flavor and the beef was done just right. The noodles were fresh and silky and went really well with the fresh herbs. This cost me $1. I drank all the soup and thanked the older woman for helping me eat this the right way.

Vietnamese Rice Sheets (Banh Uot)
This is a favorite of mine. I first had this at the Asian Garden Mall (Phuoc Loc Tho) in Westminster when I was 12 years old. To this day, I still go back to the same exact vendor for this dish called banh uot. It's probably not the best, but it's nostalgic. Thin, slightly translucent rice sheets are cut into large segments and served with generous slices of Vietnamese meatloaf (cha lua), a deep-fried cake with mung beans (banh cong), herbs and bean sprouts. All doused with the all-mighty sweet and sour, fish sauce dip, nuoc cham. I call this a happy meal.

I never get tired of this dish for its simplicity and lightness. You'll eat it and wonder where it disappeared to. Behind where I was sitting, there were about 4-5 motorists waiting on the side for their "drive-thru" order. The owner wrapped up everything in one plastic bag and tied it up with a rubber band. How fun it must be to eat this straight out of the bag. This was a choice stop for locals and I could see why – it was delicious. The rice sheets were the thinnest I've seen, the meatloaf was great and the fish sauce was tasty enough to swim in. J was sleeping at the time I was eating this and I quickly ran back to get here to try this. She and I used to pick up fresh banh uot sheets at the Thai Son store in Little Saigon, and I knew she would love this. We came back an hour later and the carnival had disappeared, vanished into oblivion.

A few weeks later at an airport in Hanoi, I saw this airport sign letting us know what we could NOT bring back. And to my surprise, I find the lovely Vietnamese meatloaf on the roster. It was too funny. Was it a narcotic? I wouldn't be surprised for its addictive taste.

You don't know this, but all the places I ate at this morning were all within 2-3 blocks of each other. As I learned, and you will too, good food is not hard to find in Saigon. Not at all. I told Jeni about the places I ate at and she knew I was very happy. I was very impressed with the food and quality here and loved that I could turn the corner and find a local gem. This was going to be one memorable tasting for us. And So far, Saigon has been good to me.

Thanks for reading. Bourdain's visit with the lunch lady, Vietnamese crepes and a Vietnamese restaurant with a great concept... up next.